








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 813 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Esplay | 12 matches | 2,277 | |
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2106 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1854 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2187 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1951 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $405,434 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 85 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elius | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Tobii-san #MG2 *CUMHEM | 67% | 27 |
| #3 | contrazt | 61% | 72 |
| #4 | Klunki | 61% | 38 |
| #5 | rYDELL | 60% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rYDELL | 404 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #2 | NLS | 299 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | ))) | 175 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #4 | Klunki | 110 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | contrazt | 80 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toxic Player | +2.43 | 77 | 74 |
| #2 | Klunki | +1.11 | 71 | 72 |
| #3 | NLS | +0.65 | 63 | 80 |
| #4 | rYDELL | +0.52 | 71 | 82 |
| #5 | Tobii-san #MG2 *CUMHEM | +0.33 | 61 | 69 |





