








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 26 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1862 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1502 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 926 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 231 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $208,569 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FlyingÜwe | 64% | 42 |
| #2 | 🅂🄺🅄🄻🄻---> | 60% | 35 |
| #3 | Masl | 55% | 33 |
| #4 | Tǝʞʞ ★ | 54% | 92 |
| #5 | Blut für Cremê | 51% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WOLFKUN | +2.20 | 67 | 66 |
| #2 | Tǝʞʞ ★ | +1.74 | 66 | 78 |
| #3 | FlyingÜwe | +1.08 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Masl | +0.47 | 48 | 54 |
| #5 | 🅂🄺🅄🄻🄻---> | -1.27 | 35 | 70 |





