








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 804 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4276 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,249 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1479 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3425 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3074 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2271 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,281 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 558 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yobo | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | ☂Tuttimuj | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | Burren | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | DyndZoo | 52% | 155 |
| #5 | Diezel Diddy | 51% | 198 |





