








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 577 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 306 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




77 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,308 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11349 | 25% |
| Smokes | 14260 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 14850 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 4849 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,703,055 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5928 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





