








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 195 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 190 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2199 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,151 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3699 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2421 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1538 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2493 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $490,651 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | balalalala | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | Ryan // | 62% | 53 |
| #3 | Bro #weGucci | 56% | 89 |
| #4 | camokr | 54% | 56 |
| #5 | dubook | 53% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Lyr | 50% | 14 |
| #10 | Shook | 49% | 69 |
| #11 | Bomp | 48% | 21 |
| #12 | Aloyo | 47% | 72 |
| #13 | Ascapologist | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dubook | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | yan | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Ryan // | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Bomp | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Bro #weGucci | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dubook | 779 | 0.29 | 19 min |
| #2 | yan | 471 | 0.28 | 15 min |
| #3 | Bro #weGucci | 378 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | Shook | 295 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #5 | Ryan // | 288 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | camokr | +2.67 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | yan | +1.31 | 76 | 73 |
| #3 | fata1 | +0.88 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | dubook | +0.78 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | Lyr | +0.03 | 58 | 71 |





