








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 996 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 163 | 16% |
| Smokes | 328 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 198 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 307 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $211,442 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f4st1ty | 4 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | algrad | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ÒwÓ | 2 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | 博彩日 | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Heiberg | 1 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | f4st1ty | 98 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| #2 | 博彩日 | 41 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | ÒwÓ | 29 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dusplays | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | algrad | 23 | 0.05 | 1 min |





