








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 455 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 292 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6816 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5298 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4670 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6236 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4923 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,551,999 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 714 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fayeaa | 9 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | KLG1 | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Dams | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | LUCKYSTRiKE;d | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Maj EveTrunks | 4 | 0.0050 |





