








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 35 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1263 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,752 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 944 | 20% |
| Smokes | 945 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1739 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1124 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $279,438 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Quack嘎嘎 | 63% | 8 |
| #7 | LeKeur | 56% | 9 |
| #8 | MARSH | 56% | 9 |
| #9 | BIgman Bruce | 38% | 8 |
| #10 | Phr33k | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quack嘎嘎 | 4 | 0.0244 |
| #2 | Azurety | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Life | 2 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Bruman | 2 | 0.0120 |
| #5 | Sixxth-Sense | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Azurety | 46 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #2 | Life | 45 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | Phr33k | 38 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Quack嘎嘎 | 36 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bruman | 34 | 0.20 | 1 min |





