








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1209 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,026 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 987 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1055 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1330 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1654 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $848,852 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruedR | 55% | 121 |
| #2 | Noidontthinkso. | 55% | 51 |
| #3 | Super Saiyajin | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Cs 'n chill | 54% | 110 |
| #5 | t0rkle T | 53% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Super Saiyajin | 54% | 39 |
| #4 | Cs 'n chill | 54% | 110 |
| #5 | t0rkle T | 53% | 15 |
| #6 | as1c | 53% | 156 |
| #7 | Skeiperrr 幸福 | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruedR | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | as1c | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Noidontthinkso. | 4 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Cs 'n chill | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Super Saiyajin | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | as1c | 489 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | ruedR | 383 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | Cs 'n chill | 298 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Noidontthinkso. | 108 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Skeiperrr 幸福 | 107 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noidontthinkso. | +2.43 | 66 | 72 |
| #2 | ruedR | +2.41 | 76 | 70 |
| #3 | Skeiperrr 幸福 | +1.80 | 83 | 66 |
| #4 | t0rkle T | +1.43 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | as1c | +1.09 | 74 | 64 |





