










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 444 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1827 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,174 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 542 | 17% |
| Smokes | 542 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 54% |
| Molotovs | 376 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $325,228 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 623 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | unoooo | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | bazinga | 60% | 43 |
| #3 | storM | 56% | 9 |
| #4 | 🅱 | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | Noname | 54% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xXPants-ShitterXx | 52% | 23 |
| #7 | null | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | 𝕒 𝕔 𝕒 𝕕 𝕚 𝕒 | 36% | 11 |
| #9 | d0n | 31% | 16 |
| #10 | tose who kwnos | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXPants-ShitterXx | 8 | 0.0178 |
| #2 | bazinga | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | Noname | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | 🅱 | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | unoooo | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | 98 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | 🅱 | 76 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | bazinga | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | xXPants-ShitterXx | 57 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | null | 28 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noname | +4.37 | 68 | 55 |
| #2 | null | +1.71 | 52 | 56 |
| #3 | banned | +1.19 | 84 | 38 |
| #4 | d0n | +0.37 | 86 | 39 |
| #5 | xXPants-ShitterXx | -0.62 | 41 | 36 |





