








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3889 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2912 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3682 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2852 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2963 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,132,260 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | aTOMic | 44% | 162 |
| #6 | pemin9999 | 44% | 113 |
| #7 | maudipedsツ | 44% | 107 |
| #8 | Erocne | 43% | 129 |
| #9 | BlindGuardian | 41% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cato | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | aTOMic | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | BlindGuardian | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Erocne | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | maudipedsツ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cato | 594 | 0.25 | 16 min |
| #2 | BlindGuardian | 331 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | aTOMic | 235 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | maudipedsツ | 145 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | pemin9999 | 134 | 0.06 | 4 min |





