








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1966 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2044 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3208 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1279 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,110 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seko | 52% | 27 |
| #2 | Kojiro | 42% | 146 |
| #3 | -=UWU=-69-=- | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | GeT Fckd | 40% | 159 |
| #5 | Miaaa | 39% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kojiro | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | GeT Fckd | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Seko | 3 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | Miaaa | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | -=UWU=-69-=- | 2 | 0.0015 |





