








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
636 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 29 | 8% |
| Smokes | 172 | 46% |
| HE Grenades | 90 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 81 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $131,155 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | korpsebunny | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | tenshi | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | Gusto | 44% | 52 |
| #7 | Yawnak | 33% | 9 |
| #8 | marehell | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gusto | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | tenshi | 2 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Yawnak | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tenshi | 69 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #2 | korpsebunny | 26 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #3 | Yawnak | 20 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zynobyte | 20 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #5 | Gusto | 19 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tenshi | +6.11 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | asteria | +4.56 | 82 | 28 |
| #3 | korpsebunny | +4.25 | 91 | 50 |
| #4 | Remlet | +3.51 | 91 | 40 |
| #5 | marehell | +0.07 | 43 | 53 |





