








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1856 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3455 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3744 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2846 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3980 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,441,529 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BuiLTDifferenT | 10 | 0.0091 |
| #2 | DestroyeR- | 4 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | JOJOmeister ♛ | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | C]-[@mp | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | ✪ DExTER | 3 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C]-[@mp | 158 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #2 | MeTaL | 155 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | vel0cityk1nG | 150 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | DarK PhoeniX | 135 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #5 | DestroyeR- | 114 | 0.23 | 4 min |





