








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
976 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,612 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1208 | 33% |
| Smokes | 726 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 900 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 778 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $357,314 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NeV ジ | 88% | 17 |
| #2 | Jättekul | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | zentasticKing ♛ | 52% | 81 |
| #4 | Somanyswags | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | 🔥Auter🔥 | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | 🔥Auter🔥 | 50% | 28 |
| #6 | Maestro | 48% | 105 |
| #7 | Trou'ble | 42% | 48 |
| #8 | Zunken | 38% | 13 |
| #9 | r00fus | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Somanyswags | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Maestro | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | zentasticKing ♛ | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maestro | 156 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #2 | zentasticKing ♛ | 103 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | 🔥Auter🔥 | 57 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jättekul | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Zunken | 22 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zentasticKing ♛ | +1.90 | 80 | 76 |
| #2 | Maestro | +1.45 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | 🔥Auter🔥 | +0.39 | 68 | 60 |
| #4 | NeV ジ | +0.24 | 77 | 39 |
| #5 | SuXes | -0.39 | 67 | 69 |





