








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
137 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 42 | 13% |
| Smokes | 80 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 102 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 88 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $24,636 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RXTS | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | diseu | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | VE1NZ | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | ilekss | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Janhouse | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | diseu | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | VE1NZ | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | ilekss | 33% | 3 |
| #5 | Janhouse | 33% | 3 |
| #6 | wild dicky | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VE1NZ | 27 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #2 | ilekss | 20 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #3 | wild dicky | 16 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #4 | Janhouse | 13 | 0.19 | 0 min |
| #5 | RXTS | 7 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diseu | +3.17 | 66 | 61 |
| #2 | NoWayI | +1.23 | 68 | 52 |
| #3 | ilekss | -0.04 | 21 | 59 |
| #4 | RXTS | -0.05 | 32 | 62 |
| #5 | VE1NZ | -0.51 | 72 | 68 |





