








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2191 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1542 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1479 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1711 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,820 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 699 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jokke | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Premzyy | 67% | 46 |
| #3 | ALI kaffe | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | Umbral | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Bjorkis | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jokke | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | Premzyy | 67% | 46 |
| #3 | ALI kaffe | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | Umbral | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Bjorkis | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Premzyy | 8 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | ✪Jokke | 5 | 0.0284 |
| #3 | ALI kaffe | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Premzyy | 178 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | ALI kaffe | 62 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | ✪Jokke | 62 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| #4 | Umbral | 47 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| #5 | Bjorkis | 11 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Jokke | +4.31 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | inDeBidingi | +3.76 | 90 | 69 |
| #3 | Umbral | +2.05 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Premzyy | +0.26 | 59 | 77 |
| #5 | ALI kaffe | -0.28 | 62 | 69 |





