








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1053 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 563 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,066 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8343 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8144 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5850 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 6729 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,595,332 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 249 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naga | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | Shimun | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Hebert Cornelius Malcum IV | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | MkIII | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naga | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | Shimun | 51% | 39 |
| #3 | Hebert Cornelius Malcum IV | 46% | 41 |
| #4 | MkIII | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MkIII | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Shimun | 10 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | Naga | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | Hebert Cornelius Malcum IV | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MkIII | 766 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #2 | Shimun | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | Naga | 82 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hebert Cornelius Malcum IV | 22 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naga | +3.46 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | Hebert Cornelius Malcum IV | +2.96 | 84 | 32 |
| #3 | Powder | +0.54 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | Shimun | -0.21 | 65 | 50 |
| #5 | MkIII | -1.21 | 57 | 67 |





