








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 71 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4568 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6394 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5829 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4773 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5306 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $684,630 of utility $75 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1003 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Cybrax | 53% | 47 |
| #10 | wlz | 53% | 40 |
| #11 | Brezo | 52% | 56 |
| #12 | LeimKcaj | 52% | 64 |
| #13 | d r x | 50% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JaY | 62 | 0.0250 |
| #2 | Brezo | 12 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | LeimKcaj | 11 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | wlz | 9 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | You&Me | 6 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LeimKcaj | 584 | 0.43 | 16 min |
| #2 | JaY | 403 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | You&Me | 190 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | d r x | 167 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brezo | 147 | 0.13 | 2 min |





