








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1931 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,104 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1797 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1970 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2193 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1144 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $715,142 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyz | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Margo | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Shlat | 30% | 20 |
| #4 | dzツ | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyz | 46% | 13 |
| #2 | Margo | 46% | 39 |
| #3 | Shlat | 30% | 20 |
| #4 | dzツ | 18% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Margo | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Shlat | 1 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Keyz | 1 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Margo | 64 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shlat | 54 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | dzツ | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #4 | Keyz | 15 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keyz | +4.10 | 86 | 55 |
| #2 | Shlat | +0.64 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | metaphase-iwnl- | -0.11 | 55 | 61 |
| #4 | Margo | -0.20 | 40 | 53 |
| #5 | dzツ | -3.03 | 65 | 48 |





