








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 923 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 73 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,753 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3809 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5730 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2773 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4441 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,339,143 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1061 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLANK. | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | FmL | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | CrossTheLimitâ„¢ | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | PerueckeLarve34 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Simojo | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLANK. | 246 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | FmL | 197 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | CrossTheLimitâ„¢ | 193 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | wendy =D | 173 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | Saubaer. | 166 | 0.10 | 4 min |





