








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 132 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1756 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1671 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1947 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1314 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,691 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fzzy | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Big con con | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | Buicy Joner | 49% | 124 |
| #4 | serp | 49% | 185 |
| #5 | Riff Raff | 48% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serp | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Riff Raff | 9 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Buicy Joner | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Big con con | 3 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Fzzy | 2 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | serp | 732 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #2 | Buicy Joner | 273 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Riff Raff | 224 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Big con con | 186 | 0.30 | 4 min |
| #5 | Fzzy | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fzzy | +3.73 | 64 | 52 |
| #2 | serp | +2.51 | 80 | 63 |
| #3 | Riff Raff | +2.30 | 79 | 63 |
| #4 | Big con con | +0.08 | 54 | 71 |
| #5 | Bruh | -1.51 | 57 | 56 |





