








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 308 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2605 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1405 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2763 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1884 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $782,208 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | le fish | 61% | 74 |
| #2 | velts | 58% | 248 |
| #3 | j3Lez | 56% | 144 |
| #4 | Big Irne hihi | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | , | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | velts | 58% | 248 |
| #3 | j3Lez | 56% | 144 |
| #4 | Big Irne hihi | 48% | 89 |
| #5 | , | 40% | 15 |
| #6 | NOHU | 40% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velts | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | j3Lez | 7 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | le fish | 7 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | NOHU | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Big Irne hihi | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velts | 758 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | j3Lez | 246 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | Big Irne hihi | 171 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | NOHU | 167 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | le fish | 162 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | velts | +2.98 | 84 | 74 |
| #2 | Tucker | +0.99 | 77 | 61 |
| #3 | , | +0.06 | 61 | 57 |
| #4 | j3Lez | -0.00 | 80 | 51 |
| #5 | NOHU | -1.02 | 77 | 66 |





