








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 914 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7084 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 35,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6702 | 19% |
| Smokes | 10224 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 9955 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 8603 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,285,717 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 653 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [DAVE] ⚠ Bor1s Turb0 ⚠ | 50% | 66 |
| #2 | ✩ IanzFury ✩ | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | ☠ Miss Shady 76 ☠ | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [DAVE] ⚠ Bor1s Turb0 ⚠ | 50% | 66 |
| #2 | ✩ IanzFury ✩ | 48% | 124 |
| #3 | ☠ Miss Shady 76 ☠ | 48% | 124 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩ IanzFury ✩ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | ☠ Miss Shady 76 ☠ | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | [DAVE] ⚠ Bor1s Turb0 ⚠ | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [DAVE] ⚠ Bor1s Turb0 ⚠ | 402 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #2 | ✩ IanzFury ✩ | 197 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | ☠ Miss Shady 76 ☠ | 118 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✩ IanzFury ✩ | +1.66 | 28 | 68 |
| #2 | [DAVE] ⚠ Bor1s Turb0 ⚠ | -0.13 | 5 | 58 |
| #3 | Sly | -0.20 | 29 | 53 |
| #4 | ☠ Miss Shady 76 ☠ | -3.92 | 13 | 45 |





