








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 233 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 531 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 111 | 21% |
| Smokes | 160 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 118 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 142 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,244 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haramberries | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | paralefty | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | Yucai | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haramberries | 52% | 21 |
| #2 | paralefty | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | Yucai | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yucai | 3 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | paralefty | 2 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yucai | 91 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Haramberries | 33 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | paralefty | 30 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yucai | +4.17 | 50 | 55 |
| #2 | paralefty | +1.06 | 70 | 47 |
| #3 | Haramberries | -0.19 | 32 | 45 |
| #4 | Zybex | -2.39 | 31 | 25 |





