








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 466 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
2523 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1951 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2977 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2971 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2176 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,968 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 58 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stub2 | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Makrelbek | 56% | 62 |
| #3 | dz - sut min Picass0!! | 52% | 227 |
| #4 | Daddy Dobby | 51% | 53 |
| #5 | Dreadzo | 50% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dreadzo | 11 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | Daddy Dobby | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | dz - sut min Picass0!! | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Makrelbek | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Stub2 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dz - sut min Picass0!! | 199 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #2 | Daddy Dobby | 195 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #3 | Dreadzo | 172 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stub2 | 116 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Makrelbek | 91 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dam0r | +1.47 | 85 | 70 |
| #2 | Daddy Dobby | +1.20 | 73 | 81 |
| #3 | Makrelbek | +0.93 | 69 | 64 |
| #4 | Dreadzo | -0.41 | 50 | 67 |
| #5 | dz - sut min Picass0!! | -0.50 | 65 | 60 |





