








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 209 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3038 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,979 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2708 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2688 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2474 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2109 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $908,585 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β₯ππΎπΈππβ₯ | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Noname | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | bells | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | Lief- | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | kNox | 38% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β₯ππΎπΈππβ₯ | 65% | 20 |
| #2 | Noname | 61% | 49 |
| #3 | bells | 55% | 83 |
| #4 | Lief- | 51% | 70 |
| #5 | kNox | 38% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lief- | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | kNox | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Noname | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | bells | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | β₯ππΎπΈππβ₯ | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lief- | 344 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #2 | bells | 299 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #3 | kNox | 160 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | β₯ππΎπΈππβ₯ | 73 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | Noname | 53 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β₯ππΎπΈππβ₯ | +6.71 | 71 | 56 |
| #2 | Lief- | +4.61 | 76 | 69 |
| #3 | bells | +4.48 | 72 | 64 |
| #4 | Noname | -0.60 | 68 | 53 |
| #5 | de_dusty | -0.71 | 59 | 56 |





