








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2739 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4125 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3620 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3674 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4427 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,508 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ็ | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | dirri | 50% | 106 |
| #3 | ˙nark | 48% | 159 |
| #4 | Chriisj' | 46% | 108 |
| #5 | gede | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Zellex | 44% | 86 |
| #10 | rand | 43% | 92 |
| #11 | TuToflash [ESP] | 42% | 36 |
| #12 | Pepe Argento | 39% | 67 |
| #13 | fgn | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˙nark | 549 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | ProKo | 461 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #3 | Chriisj' | 399 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #4 | fgn | 378 | 0.35 | 9 min |
| #5 | rand | 374 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˙nark | +2.00 | 75 | 76 |
| #2 | ็ | +1.88 | 60 | 75 |
| #3 | gede | +1.56 | 66 | 60 |
| #4 | TuToflash [ESP] | +1.35 | 67 | 63 |
| #5 | Pepe Argento | +1.11 | 70 | 43 |





