








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Esplay | 100 matches | 1,546 | |
| Wingman | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,483 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5054 | 22% |
| Smokes | 8757 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 5097 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4575 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,306,690 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 281 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | eXampL | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | RNCV | 45% | 29 |
| #6 | impulselelele | 42% | 36 |
| #7 | Clewer | 41% | 37 |
| #8 | sweet | 38% | 29 |





