








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 379 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3709 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,364 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3441 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4858 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2495 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 570 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,409,345 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 268 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bone Mill | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | Loaf Pincher | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Twitchy | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | VictoryVee | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bone Mill | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | Loaf Pincher | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | Twitchy | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | VictoryVee | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VictoryVee | 3 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Twitchy | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Bone Mill | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitchy | 153 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bone Mill | 108 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Loaf Pincher | 98 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | VictoryVee | 54 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VictoryVee | +3.21 | 81 | 65 |
| #2 | Bone Mill | +1.75 | 61 | 61 |
| #3 | Kotics | +1.34 | 39 | 58 |
| #4 | Twitchy | +0.50 | 54 | 68 |
| #5 | Loaf Pincher | +0.42 | 71 | 63 |





