








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 295 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 315 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2684 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,808 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2347 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4144 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3654 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2663 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,140,067 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 627 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | masi | 59% | 73 |
| #2 | ุ | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | dick pippels | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | papi | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | Deeenkan | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | dick pippels | 56% | 32 |
| #4 | papi | 55% | 77 |
| #5 | Deeenkan | 52% | 21 |
| #6 | satakieli | 52% | 44 |
| #7 | Handy | 50% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handy | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | satakieli | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | papi | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | masi | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ุ | 2 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Handy | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | masi | 221 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | papi | 158 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | satakieli | 153 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | ุ | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | satakieli | +4.28 | 76 | 64 |
| #2 | masi | +2.96 | 53 | 75 |
| #3 | Handy | +1.48 | 66 | 59 |
| #4 | Deeenkan | +1.29 | 57 | 79 |
| #5 | ุ | +0.20 | 69 | 49 |





