








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 129 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
887 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,951 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 733 | 25% |
| Smokes | 848 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 729 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 641 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,086 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 65 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p p | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Spakoina | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | シロ | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | TUBARÂO | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Ryder | 53% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Spakoina | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | シロ | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | TUBARÂO | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Ryder | 53% | 57 |
| #6 | Gru Gru | 52% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | シロ | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryder | 155 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | Gru Gru | 74 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | TUBARÂO | 27 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | シロ | 16 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #5 | p p | 14 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シロ | +3.92 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | RyanFragerino *HyperX | +2.66 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | Ryder | +1.80 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | Gru Gru | +0.19 | 59 | 51 |
| #5 | p p | -2.07 | 45 | 61 |





