








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 624 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2329 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2007 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1839 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1402 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $344,398 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1702 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Foxy | 40% | 40 |
| #6 | Beep | 39% | 23 |
| #7 | datsun_wolfgang | 35% | 31 |
| #8 | wubbzy | 35% | 34 |
| #9 | scrappy coco | 34% | 41 |





