








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 39 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
133 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 333 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 119 | 36% |
| Smokes | 110 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 65 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 39 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $52,668 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bulldog | 38% | 8 |
| #5 | Tarhiel | 36% | 14 |
| #6 | Drank | 36% | 14 |
| #7 | Primitive Gamer | 34% | 29 |
| #8 | Drippy | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primitive Gamer | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Drank | 3 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Tarhiel | 2 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | losses | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Drippy | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Primitive Gamer | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Drippy | 48 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Drank | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | losses | 10 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Tarhiel | 10 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drank | +7.01 | 74 | 56 |
| #2 | losses | +3.22 | 59 | 59 |
| #3 | Primitive Gamer | +0.53 | 69 | 48 |
| #4 | Tarhiel | -0.68 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | Drippy | -1.49 | 56 | 53 |





