








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 452 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 260 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3329 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2265 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3190 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3381 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2185 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $637,085 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | demπ
²π
·π
΄π
΄π
Ίπ | 55% | 91 |
| #2 | Neebs | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Zorgandorg | 52% | 264 |
| #4 | Jehovas Thiccness | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | demπ
²π
·π
΄π
΄π
Ίπ | 55% | 91 |
| #2 | Neebs | 54% | 35 |
| #3 | Zorgandorg | 52% | 264 |
| #4 | Jehovas Thiccness | 48% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorgandorg | 9 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorgandorg | 1079 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #2 | demπ
²π
·π
΄π
΄π
Ίπ | 158 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jehovas Thiccness | 99 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | Neebs | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zorgandorg | +2.32 | 58 | 69 |
| #2 | demπ
²π
·π
΄π
΄π
Ίπ | +0.15 | 58 | 59 |
| #3 | Jehovas Thiccness | -0.48 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | KayPee | -0.72 | 51 | 50 |
| #5 | Neebs | -0.88 | 33 | 63 |





