








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 521 | 15% |
| Smokes | 997 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 748 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1105 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $408,725 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dying Bryan | 68% | 44 |
| #2 | Steveyy #Knight | 67% | 58 |
| #3 | Imperator des Fließentisches | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Mordrag | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Wick | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Steveyy #Knight | 67% | 58 |
| #3 | Imperator des Fließentisches | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Mordrag | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | Wick | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | DaRaion26 | 50% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steveyy #Knight | 12 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | Mordrag | 3 | 0.0207 |
| #3 | DaRaion26 | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Dying Bryan | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Wick | 2 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steveyy #Knight | 74 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | DaRaion26 | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | Wick | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Dying Bryan | 39 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Imperator des Fließentisches | 12 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steveyy #Knight | +1.23 | 56 | 52 |
| #2 | DaRaion26 | +1.09 | 67 | 54 |
| #3 | Knallhart#schwarzerojama | +0.92 | 79 | 55 |
| #4 | Imperator des Fließentisches | +0.50 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Dying Bryan | -0.19 | 58 | 41 |





