










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




114 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,087 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 597 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1973 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 1769 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 748 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,504,035 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 246 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | βͺ ZER0 β | 52% | 69 |
| #4 | βπ LβZiTβ¬π β | 49% | 90 |
| #5 | Daugaard | 47% | 76 |
| #6 | El_sicario | 42% | 170 |
| #7 | Lyngsaae | 41% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El_sicario | 32 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | Daugaard | 29 | 0.0189 |
| #3 | βπ LβZiTβ¬π β | 20 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Lyngsaae | 13 | 0.0137 |
| #5 | βͺ ZER0 β | 7 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleezy | 202 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lyngsaae | 156 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | βͺ ZER0 β | 131 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Daugaard | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | El_sicario | 106 | 0.03 | 1 min |





