








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,453 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3079 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3260 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1967 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2147 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $289,926 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | cole world | 50% | 26 |
| #7 | _Lerff | 47% | 32 |
| #8 | Barbour | 44% | 75 |
| #9 | Cybopig | 44% | 32 |
| #10 | Mr Rickards | 42% | 112 |





