








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 185 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5559 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,744 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1404 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1891 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2534 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1915 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,482,888 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 537 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vinny | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | Sgt. Tard Crusher | 66% | 74 |
| #3 | moptopboy | 66% | 67 |
| #4 | Sirhan Sirhan | 65% | 138 |
| #5 | Deadringer | 60% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigLeem | 46 | 0.0242 |
| #2 | Captain cum sock | 25 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Sgt. Tard Crusher | 16 | 0.0109 |
| #4 | Sirhan Sirhan | 12 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Deadringer | 12 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dia 🟃ꃼ | +6.18 | 83 | 50 |
| #2 | Sgt. Tard Crusher | +4.26 | 88 | 41 |
| #3 | Vinny | +1.55 | 68 | 63 |
| #4 | Deadringer | +1.34 | 79 | 44 |
| #5 | BigLeem | -0.09 | 79 | 25 |





