








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
582 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 719 | 31% |
| Smokes | 481 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 599 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 500 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $195,555 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruikki | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Joloro | 48% | 64 |
| #3 | Negative ツ | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | jolle | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | WellisB | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruikki | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | Joloro | 48% | 64 |
| #3 | Negative ツ | 43% | 7 |
| #4 | jolle | 43% | 7 |
| #5 | WellisB | 33% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joloro | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Joloro | 99 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Negative ツ | 35 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| #3 | jolle | 31 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | ruikki | 19 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | WellisB | 16 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ruikki | +2.98 | 76 | 81 |
| #2 | WellisB | +1.78 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | Negative ツ | +1.72 | 86 | 72 |
| #4 | hoog | +1.23 | 72 | 69 |
| #5 | Joloro | +0.47 | 66 | 57 |





