








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 553 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 572 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3529 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5624 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5033 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3971 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,065,704 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alabasta | 46% | 399 |
| #2 | ASO | 46% | 151 |
| #3 | ischdochegalalder | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | Liptoon | 43% | 35 |
| #5 | SCRJ | Eisenleber99 | 43% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alabasta | 46% | 399 |
| #2 | ASO | 46% | 151 |
| #3 | ischdochegalalder | 44% | 36 |
| #4 | Liptoon | 43% | 35 |
| #5 | SCRJ | Eisenleber99 | 43% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alabasta | 21 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | ASO | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | SCRJ | Eisenleber99 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Liptoon | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alabasta | 137 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| #2 | ASO | 128 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | ischdochegalalder | 33 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | SCRJ | Eisenleber99 | 15 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| #5 | Liptoon | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASO | +1.20 | 50 | 57 |
| #2 | Liptoon | -0.28 | 36 | 20 |
| #3 | Alabasta | -0.42 | 35 | 34 |
| #4 | ischdochegalalder | -0.80 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | SCRJ | Eisenleber99 | -1.14 | 38 | 18 |





