








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 762 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 327 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5544 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4882 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4716 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4355 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $910,448 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 412 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johan | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | WEHRD | 55% | 56 |
| #3 | chA1nsteR | 53% | 81 |
| #4 | ML 웃 | 53% | 85 |
| #5 | ORANGE | 50% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | 🆃🅷🅴 🅺🅸🅽🅶 BOB3000 | 40% | 50 |
| #15 | timmmmsssu | 39% | 61 |
| #16 | OMMEE | 36% | 36 |
| #17 | sobek | 35% | 26 |
| #18 | KARRELUTTAN | 34% | 32 |





