








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
164 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 780 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 265 | 34% |
| Smokes | 207 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 161 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 147 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $35,031 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | jelmerdepelmer | 33% | 3 |
| #13 | Sander | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | TheRoBBeR | 22% | 9 |
| #15 | GSXR | 22% | 9 |
| #16 | ✪Laurin | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dennis ;) | 47 | 0.34 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sander | 36 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #3 | TheRoBBeR | 30 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | Marc J | 28 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #5 | Peponk | 26 | 0.16 | 1 min |





