








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 462 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,079 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2580 | 14% |
| Smokes | 6253 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 5612 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3634 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,765,205 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 116 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhantoM | 56% | 36 |
| #2 | Hercyules | 55% | 53 |
| #3 | megalomaniac | 53% | 161 |
| #4 | BillyTheKid | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Hobzy | 52% | 311 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SIZE QUEEN (she/her) | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ozz | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Hobzy | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | megalomaniac | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Hercyules | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hobzy | 399 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #2 | SIZE QUEEN (she/her) | 309 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #3 | ozz | 192 | 0.02 | 5 min |
| #4 | Hercyules | 182 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | BillyTheKid | 105 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ozz | +4.07 | 77 | 48 |
| #2 | Dufman | +1.99 | 71 | 46 |
| #3 | Hercyules | +1.25 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | Hobzy | -0.82 | 57 | 56 |
| #5 | BillyTheKid | -1.62 | 55 | 62 |





