










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 59 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
722 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,546 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 293 | 19% |
| Smokes | 505 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 496 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 252 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $517,189 of utility $301 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeys | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Zebb | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | blizztiq | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | wms | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | Morgan Pålsson | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zeys | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Zebb | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | blizztiq | 54% | 68 |
| #4 | wms | 29% | 7 |
| #5 | Morgan Pålsson | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blizztiq | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Zebb | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Zeys | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blizztiq | 234 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Zebb | 95 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | Zeys | 50 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #4 | wms | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Morgan Pålsson | 5 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zebb | +1.35 | 68 | 74 |
| #2 | blizztiq | +1.14 | 39 | 67 |
| #3 | Zeys | +0.76 | 60 | 66 |
| #4 | Cola | +0.26 | 44 | 52 |
| #5 | wms | +0.05 | 52 | 61 |





