








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 609 matches | ||
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 39,300 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12826 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9846 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8177 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8451 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,693,773 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 375 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toyzed- | 59% | 64 |
| #2 | Aztek 𒉭 | 59% | 241 |
| #3 | snako | 58% | 67 |
| #4 | YOSHA.^ | 57% | 86 |
| #5 | neroooo! | 55% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aztek 𒉭 | 19 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | YOSHA.^ | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | CHIEF KEEF | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | neroooo! | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Toyzed- | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aztek 𒉭 | 876 | 0.18 | 24 min |
| #2 | CHIEF KEEF | 656 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #3 | YOSHA.^ | 444 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #4 | snako | 313 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | Toyzed- | 213 | 0.15 | 4 min |





