








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 12 matches | 1,867 | |
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
714 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,102 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 28% |
| Smokes | 494 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 559 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 458 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $162,196 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lazy Butthole | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Guttenheimer | 100% | 3 |
| #3 | Younha | 100% | 4 |
| #4 | Λ | Lucker | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | epsi | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuFFy^^ | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SKAEMT_- | +3.11 | 79 | 45 |
| #2 | Younha | +3.11 | 73 | 69 |
| #3 | Λ |Ralf | +3.07 | 63 | 65 |
| #4 | Λ | Ivyz | +2.66 | 72 | 76 |
| #5 | Lazy Butthole | +2.42 | 83 | 42 |





