








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 348 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5682 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2938 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2657 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2363 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $242,190 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 185 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pekkate | 62% | 21 |
| #2 | ShovelHero | 56% | 66 |
| #3 | Löysä | 50% | 34 |
| #4 | concerta_peek | 50% | 136 |
| #5 | mememan | 48% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Dalholm | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | concerta_peek | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | ShovelHero | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | VALKEA | 4 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | rBook | 2 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | concerta_peek | 691 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | John Dalholm | 643 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | ShovelHero | 236 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | mememan | 224 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | Löysä | 178 | 0.22 | 4 min |





