








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 985 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 470 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11367 | 42% |
| Smokes | 5931 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5715 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3880 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,404,188 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 718 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sn0wキ | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | Kalil | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | ImSage™ | 58% | 156 |
| #4 | Booio | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Gittre | 49% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kalil | 59% | 44 |
| #3 | ImSage™ | 58% | 156 |
| #4 | Booio | 52% | 44 |
| #5 | Gittre | 49% | 57 |
| #6 | DeM^ | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImSage™ | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Kalil | 5 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Gittre | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | DeM^ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Booio | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImSage™ | 559 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | DeM^ | 231 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | sn0wキ | 200 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kalil | 189 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Booio | 107 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ImSage™ | +4.05 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | sn0wキ | +3.04 | 82 | 67 |
| #3 | Kalil | +2.49 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | DeM^ | +0.78 | 56 | 66 |
| #5 | SaM^ | +0.58 | 59 | 75 |





