








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 811 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,558 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3647 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4550 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3975 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4386 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,172,596 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | DishwasherPr0 | 53% | 322 |
| #3 | Ant | 52% | 114 |
| #4 | Chief Keef | 49% | 263 |
| #5 | Osama Zyn Laden | 45% | 102 |
| #6 | gigga nygga | 44% | 130 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chief Keef | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Ant | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | DishwasherPr0 | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Osama Zyn Laden | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | gigga nygga | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DishwasherPr0 | 559 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ant | 231 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Chief Keef | 154 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #4 | gigga nygga | 104 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Osama Zyn Laden | 75 | 0.04 | 1 min |





